You Are Forgiven by J.L. Russell Written on 1/14/12
This is not me. I was given the words to write this for someone. I don’t know who it is for, but I pray whoever it is, that it helps them to see Gods light……
I was in the deepest part of despair. Darkness so dark that I knew I would never see light again. I let depression, despair, hate, anger and other things rage inside me and by doing that I just got myself deeper into that darkness. I let those things control me and it made me a hateful, bitter, mean person which the devil himself did not want to be around.
As I sat there in this pit, in this self-loathing, blaming everything on everyone but myself and yes, blaming what I created myself to be on God. Yelling at Him, blaming Him for my failures, for the destruction I created, using language that would make most people run away all because of what I believe and because I demanded things my way.
In this darkness, after I wore myself out and had taken everything out on everyone but myself, I sat in silence. I could not hear or see anything. I was alone. I had sunken as low as a person could get but something inside me wanted more. I wanted out of this pit, away from all the anger, hating, despair, and depression that I felt.
Just when I felt all was lost, I saw something in the darkness. It was a small light that was the size of a pin. It was above me, shining in the darkness. I stood up and started clawing my way up, trying to find where the light was coming from. As I tried clawing my way, inch by inch up out of this pit, the light was growing. The harder I clawed and fought to get to it, the bigger and brighter it was getting. There were times when I lost my grip but I didn’t let that stop me. I continued to fight my way out because something inside me wanted and needed that light.
Just when I thought all was lost and I was losing my grip once again, a hand reached out toward me. It came out of nowhere, through this light. I let go with one hand, reached out and grabbed onto this hand from nowhere and as I did, I felt myself being pulled out of this pit into the brightest of light. My whole body collapsed right then and I fell to my knees. I could see now and I knew everything would be different now. While on my knees, through the tears pouring out of my eyes, I saw Him! It was JESUS! He was standing there in front of me and He was the one who reached out for me and pulled me up. He was the one who saved me! Through the tears and the heartache, I asked the Lord for His forgiveness for all my sins and as soon as I said that, I felt all the heartache, the pain, the depression, the hate, the anger, all of it lift off me and I heard these words, “You are forgiven!”
There is one who can put all the brokenness in your life together and make you into a whole person. He can change the way you look at yourself and the world, that one is our Lord. Psalms 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Romans 10:10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.